©JohnnaKnowsGoodFood

Writing about food can be a gift and a curse.  The gift is that you get first dibs on the new restaurants, menus and cocktails.  The curse is when you see what the staff really acts like once you revisit without your media pass.  This week’s Etiquette Tuesday focuses on the true colors of the restaurant: Who is the true you?  I have been to a plethora of media events where I leave feeling like I’ve literally had a five hour massage and one of the Gladiators from Spartacus feeding me grapes at my leisure.  The next day I have returned to numerous establishments and I feel like I’m one breath away from the silverware being thrown at me.  Le sigh.

I suppose it’s the most embarrassing when I send my readers, friends, family, etc. to these places that I feel like royalty at my media event and they leave the same restaurant ranting about the horrible service and subpar food.  I hang my head in shame because it is disheartening how I can have a totally different experience simply because of a Media badge.  Why does my hard earned money as a regular patron not play as much of a roll as the Media badge?? I get it, the Media will typically reach a broader audience because they may (*that’s a big Maybe too…) write about the establishment but what about regular ol’ me who has a penchant for putting together group dinners for my friends on a regular occasion??  I think my pull as the regular folk will actually pull some green cents into your restaurant quicker than any article, post or Tweet you could ever read.

Though I am a media junkie, nothing beats a friend telling you about an amazing dining experience they had the night before and they were not holding a media pass.

©JohnnaKnowsGoodFood

Last night my fiancé, a couple of friends, and I planned an evening out to celebrate my birthday and our engagement. The plan was to finally be able to attest to the experience of being a guest at a specific upscale restaurant (*keeping things anonymous on this one) in downtown Washington, D.C. We walked up to the restaurant and immediately noticed the red carpet, the fancy red rope, the valet, and the “bouncers” (for lack of a better word) outside. Glamorous, indeed! As quickly as the excitement rose, it died. My fiancé, my friend, and I were let in, but my other friend was denied access… because of his shoes!

Under the details tab on their website, the restaurant states that the dress code is “business casual (dress to impress)”. Naturally, I had already checked this out prior to making reservations and alerted everyone so we would dress the part. According to the bouncers, they have a “no boots” policy so my friend wasn’t able to enter.  He was wearing shoes that resembled this pair:

Following that comment, since both H&M and Macy’s were close by, my friend went on a 20 minute search for a pair with no luck because both stores were closed. After explaining our situation to one of the hosts, they were about to let it slide. Unfortunately the manager on duty wasn’t as lenient. Needless to say, I was upset. We ended up going to Ceiba and still had an amazing night but I’m still rather confused because in my mind business casual and dressing to impress are two totally different categories. Here’s my main question:  if other lounges, bars, clubs, and other entertainment establishments can be specific about what attire is and is not acceptable, why can’t they?

©JohnnaKnowsGoodFood

Let me start this week’s etiquette tip with this statement: it is OK to be picky but there is a line that should be drawn.  Recently I went to a restaurant which is primarily full of stop and go traffic i.e. mostly take-out orders.  While I was making my order (*buffet selections), I overheard one of the other patrons asking one of the waiters whether a dish had an oil in it that the patron was allergic to.  After it became clear that the waiter was unsure whether it truly did not contain the allergic oil, the patron continued to push her by stating “are you sure it has the oil???”.  By this point, I was annoyed and I was not the one waiting on her.

My annoyance comes from the fact that there were tons of other options (*it was a buffet!) and if you are that allergic, why even chance having a reaction from a fly by night food bar.  Most of the selections on a buffet menu are not hand crafted with that sort of detail, my impression has always been take a chance at life when I indulge in these things.  Most of the things that they offer have all kinds of ingredients that they may omit from memory because of the type of production that is associated with buffet menus.  On the other hand I understand all restaurants should keep track of all the ingredients that they are serving in each dish.

Picky eaters this week is for you: It’s OK to be choosy but when does it stop??

©JohnnaKnowsGoodFood

Ever seen this? You attend/host an event where the guest list is either non-transferable or the event is obviously for a small, intimate crowd.  The kicker comes in when one of the guests brings another guest that was not only not invited, but should not have been invited.  You know these people who should not make the guest list; they usually have some sort of conflicting interest that just makes it awkward for everyone in the room.  This week’s Etiquette tip goes to the invitation:  who should and shouldn’t come with the invite?

Now I understand, you should never stop going someplace just because there is someone that you do not like who will be in attendance.  This week’s etiquette tip speaks more to this scenario: Your friend invites you to a dinner party that your ex is hosting (*reminder this relationship did not end well and the ex now has a new flame who will also be in attendance).  Now you know you can keep it cordial but really is it worth it? And even more, would you show better manners by simply sitting this dinner invitation out??  Though it might be tempting to get a look at the new boo and show off how well you’re doing, who knows where the conversation may lead after a little liquid courage.

This week, I am not writing to direct, rather I write to give you something to think about the next time you’re asked to be the wing man/wing girl and you know there could be a bit of awkwardness present.  To go or not to go??  That is the question…