Etiquette Tuesday: Cheapskate
This week will be easy: do not leave with what you brought. For some of us, this is the no-brainer etiquette tip…for others not so much. After venturing to another 30-something b-day party, I made my way around the party just enough to engage in some good ‘ole Etiquette Tuesday talk. This one particular guest was charming, funny and offered the serenity needed in this 30 and older house party. This guest, however, thought it would be a good idea to snag that bottle of Jack Daniel’s that they brought to the party as they headed out the door. Now we laughed and joked at this concept but seriously…this is bad etiquette.
When you go to a party/soiree/kickback/etc. and you bring a bottle/dish/etc., it should not leave with you. It is at the very least a kind way of saying “Thank You” to the host for opening their home to you and your guests for the event. If you feel what you brought is worth more than what you got from the party, then consider a cheaper bottle of wine or liquour for the next swaray but for tonight, leave the bottle at the host/hostess house. When you snag the bottle on the way out the door, there are a few terms that come to mind: cheap, tacky and hmm, inconsiderate. I have a friend or two with this terrible habit and they have been coined the “cheapo’s”, which is not a name you want attached to the tact resume. It’s ok to be cheap, but do this on your own time and maybe stay home when you feel you need to carry the bottle back home with you…
Category: Food.Fun.Stuff.
About the Author (Author Profile)
Johnna French is a Harlem NY native with deep roots in Panama, Washington, DC and North Carolina. All four places have heavily influenced her life and the foods she loves today. After graduating Howard University School of Law and beginning her life as a young professional in the city she was led to start Johnna Knows Good Food in November 2007 to keep family, friends and colleagues updated on where to go and what to eat while dining in the nation’s capitol. French, who still practices law, leads a team of three writers to cover the ever expanding Washington, DC food scene. French has been featured in print and television, appearing in Washingtonian Magazine and is a regular contributor to various local TV affiliates including WUSA 9, FOX 5 DC and WJLA (ABC Affiliate) News Channel 8. During the 2016-2017 football season, Johnna aired on Comcast Sports Mid-Atlantic (CSN) show, Redskins Life, as the weekly tailgate host. Johnna is currently a regular contributor to the FOX Baltimore Weekend morning show.Subscribe
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I really wish people would change their thinking as it pertains to parties and cookouts. Rather than have the “well this wasn’t used I can take it back” or worse “I’m not going to eat so I won’t take anything” frame of mind, think of what you take as appreciation of the invitation and an attempt to take pressure off of the host(ess). I actually watched a woman take an entire cake from a party that she didn’t bring *sigh.
If cost is your true motivation, buy a case of wine at costco and keep it in the trunk. You save money in the long run and you never get caught searching for a liquor store at the last min.
*If you’re a guy and you want to score points with the hostess, call a few min before you get there and ask if she needs anything.. **Use this technique sparsely, you could be setting yourself up for disaster if she has a shopping list.
As the hostess of this weekend’s party, I would love to know who took the Jack. I love Jack! lol. Great post Johnna 🙂
LoL! Love the liquour in the trunk idea…It really kills me when people take stuff that they brought for a party. At the very least, allow the host to ask you first to take it home before you volunteer the idea. It really is the cost/benefit analysis…be classified as the classless or first class? I choose the latter.
LoL! I was wondering did they ask you before they took it…BTW, had a blast and my bottle stayed at your place;-)
Why on EARTH isn’t this obvious?!
Unless the host(ess) returns the item, you shouldn’t even think to take it back. I think people just bring things for show, like a prop, so they can reuse it for the next outing.
So true {Ms. P}! They bring it for props but end up looking like the fool that took their stuff back…
Thanks for telling me about “Etiquette Tuesday”… I love the concept…
Johnnaknowsgoodfood that’s a great etiquette tip. I agree with the other comments and I think it is rude to ask to take back something that you brought to a party and for the party as a gift. It is only appropriate to take something back if the host or hostess specifically offer it back to you or ask you to please take it with you rather than have it go to waste.